Year: 2019

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Deconstructing self-doubt

This is a self-awareness exercise. Feel free to take a few minutes to answer these questions.
  • Where does self-doubt live in your life? 
  • Does it manifest in your actions, words and/or thoughts? 
  • When is the last time you doubted yourself or your abilities? 
  • What fueled your doubt? 
  • Is the source of your doubt subjective or objective?
    • Objective – Observation of measurable facts
    • Subjective – Personal opinions, assumptions, interpretations, and beliefs
  • How do you respond to self-doubt?
  • What actions do you take to combat doubt? 

Take a look at self part 1: doubt and procrastination for the tips I use to combat my doubt.
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Self: Part One – Doubt and Procrastination

Since mid-adolescence, I have been a self-identified and labeled procrastinator. 

“I work better under pressure.” 

“I do my best work the night before.” 

“I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ve got plenty of time.” 

These are some of the statements I would tell myself and others to rationalize my procrastination. Have you used these lines as well?

Sidebar: I distinctly remember someone telling me that I’m too good at rationalizing bad behavior and decisions. I disagreed at the time, but I am starting to see his point. 

I am certainly no stranger to getting work done early or starting a project well in advance. Better yet, I’ve successfully followed my backward planning schedule to meet my goal. However, there are an equal number of, if not more, cases where I procrastinate on a project and then complete it under a stress-inducing timeline. 

My memories of procrastination

High school

Throughout my life, procrastination has manifested in numerous ways. Lately, I’ve been taking some time to reflect on each of these manifestations. In high school, I remember staying up late to write a history paper that was due the following day. I spent half of the night crying out of frustration and the other half with my parent sitting next to me as I wrote and talked out my essay. For the rest of my time in high school, I remembered that terrible night and asked myself why I waited to do my work so late in one of my most challenging classes. I did not have an answer but I did start going to extra help with my teacher for feedback on papers well in advance. 

College

During my junior year, I was unable to get my work done for a good portion of a semester. This was not entirely procrastination. The extraneous things happening in my life led to a lot of stress and anxiety. However, as I look back on that difficult time, I remember intentionally doing busy work for my organizations and extra-curricular activities before addressing my school work. By the time I was ready to sit down and do my work, I was conveniently exhausted and would think “I’ll do it tomorrow.” I followed this cycle and spiraled into a state of complete disarray by the end of the term. Thankfully, I was able to complete the semester and continue my undergraduate career. Shoutout to my dean, advisors, and counselor. Since then, I thought I had shaken the procrastination bug, but I was wrong. 

Present-day

As of late, my procrastination has manifested as distracting myself and doing easy projects rather than challenging projects and tasks that require deep thought and intentionality. For example, at work, I will be aware of a project that is important for my future and rather than working on my project, I will spend hours entering data that is not time-sensitive at all. A personal project that I’m working on is putting together a research proposal and it’s been an arduous process. This is something that I started last year and gave up on because I did not plan properly nor did I believe in myself. Reinvigorated, I picked up the project a few months ago and I felt like I was on a roll. My passion was fueling me and things were falling into place until they weren’t. 

The pattern re-emerged. In the time I had scheduled and mentally dedicated to my research proposal, I would distract myself with social media, visit friends and family, do chores, play with my dog or anything else that was not my proposal, followed by “I’ve got plenty of time.” The proposal is due in a few weeks. 

Digging deeper

As I reflected on this disturbing pattern of procrastination, I dug deeper. I spent time pondering during therapy sessions, meditations, and any downtime and eventually had an aha moment. I was uncomfortable at my discovery that I am not as confident as I believe. Under this pattern of distraction and putting off work, is a mound of self-doubt that sounds something like “If you don’t really try, then you did not fail” and “someone else’s work will be better, so why bother?” This is what I’ve identified, with years of practice retraining my thoughts, as self-incriminating negative self talk or psyching myself out. Thankfully, this doubt comes in waves and I am not constantly tearing myself down. I know what this looks and feels like because I also used to do that incessantly. stay tuned for a future post for more details 🙂

self-preservation

The self-doubt serves a dual purpose as a protective measure. By protecting myself from failure or rejection, by not trying or giving my all, I immediately have an explanation for a less than favorable outcome. I realize that I am potentially preventing myself from gaining amazing opportunities and experiences, but at times it is easier to prematurely cut my losses, instead of being disappointed later. 

This is a mindset that lays low and strikes when I’m at my most vulnerable point, which will sometimes lead to a downward spiral of negative self-talk and heightened self-doubt. I have moments when I feel on top of the world and very capable and competent but the moment a new challenge presents itself, my default is to highlight why I am not qualified or capable rather than highlighting my ability to try or learn. It’s a strange feeling to put into words. 

As I work through whatever task is in front of me, there are ways that I shake my doubt for long enough to get some work done. However, I largely remain in this negative space about myself until I complete the project and then leave behind the difficulty that I experienced. 

Revisiting my proposal 

I’ve spent months talking about this proposal with family and friends. Many of them are speaking a successful acceptance into existence and I was on board until I tried to put my ideas and thoughts down on paper. The same debilitating self-doubt creeps in every time I sit to write out the next phase of my project. Then, I spiral and spend more time deconstructing and bashing my project than building it up. Eventually, I will shake my doubt with some meditation, music, exercise or a conversation and get some work done. A few days later, I find myself in the same low point and repeat this cycle of combating doubt. 

Combatting self-doubt

Music

One tactic that I use to combat my self-doubt is music. I actually have a “real motivation” playlist that I created during my post-graduation funk that proves helpful to this day. A lot of the lyrics are focused on success, owning my awesomeness, and feeling good. They are not a cure-all but they do help reduce the frequency of negative self-talk about my abilities and potential. 

Support system

Another good tactic, if you are lucky enough to have one and realize it, is leaning on your support team and talking through your fears and doubts. If your friends are anything like mine, they will remind you of your capabilities and provide some insight and tips for when they struggle with doubt. I am truly blessed and I hope you realize that you are too! 

Movement

Lastly, I get some endorphins flowing when I’m in a funk. I imagine that anyone who has read any of my other posts is not surprised by a mention of physical movement. I’ll take a break and go for a walk, bike ride, or do some yoga for a pick me up. The effects aren’t always long-lasting but they certainly do help. 

This is something that I am currently working through and will likely struggle with in the future. The bright side is that now I am more self-aware of the ways that I get in my own way and the reasons that I do it. I know that I won’t wake up tomorrow without an ounce of self-doubt. However, I am better equipped today than I was a few years and even months ago. 

Have any of you experienced something similar? Have you taken time to look at the relationship between procrastination and self-doubt in your life? Are they connected for you? Do they manifest together or are they unrelated? Did this post illuminate anything for you? Feel free to share your experience in the comments or directly with me! 

Take a look at this weeks challenge deconstructing self-doubt to dig deeper!

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Movement and stagnation

In this week’s blog post, I talk about movement and stagnation. What are some ways that you move mentally, emotionally, physically and/or socially? Write them down and see if you can put two of them into practice this week. If you feel like you are not able to or feel stuck, take some time to think about what is getting in the way. Is something out of alignment for you? Are there thoughts and feelings taking up space and preventing you from moving?

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Keep moving

Keep moving forward.

After learning and slaying some choreography, our dance instructor asked the class what makes us happy. To my relief, she had someone on the other side of the circle answer first. I unexpectedly had a blank mind when I first heard the question and mild panic set in. Slowly ideas popped up and my thought process was as follows: there are so many things that I feel happy doing. Why can’t I think of an answer to this question? What am I happiest doing right now? What keeps me up at night and gets me up early in the morning? Once I posed these questions to myself, while listening to the other dancers, I knew my answer. Movement is what makes me happy. Movement in every possible way but my favorite types of movement are emotional, physical, mental and social.

Sometimes movement is hard

The statement “movement makes me happy” is simplistic and does not paint the full picture of my experience. The end result of engagement with various movements is generally happiness, but working through the motions and in some cases just getting started is the hard part. The past few weeks are a perfect example of the difficult feelings that go into movement for me. I’ve been feeling stuck in more ways than one and have been stagnant emotionally, mentally and physically. Because I know what it feels like to move and release emotionally, mentally and physically, I crave it. This makes feeling like I can’t move unbearable.

As I go through my day, I feel and see everything moving and growing around me but I am not moving. Rather, I feel like I am going through the motions and life has a hold over me. It is a strange sensation for me since I usually absorb energy from my environment and find it encouraging.

Movement through time

This post was written over the course of three weeks because each time I returned to writing, I felt stuck. I talked about how I was feeling with friends and my counselor but nothing would budge.

Mentally, my mind was filled with so many thoughts that I was not able to sort or move through. Each thought was taking up a large amount of mental space and seemed to big to handle. This led to me feeling anxious and stressed every day which bled into other aspects of my life. Emotionally, I was out of tune and could only identify feeling overwhelmed and tired. Physically, I was not practicing my night routines and getting poor quality sleep. I would wake up late and skip over potential morning yoga. I was not being mindful about planning meals, I ate emotionally, and I ate a lot of foods that added to me feeling awful. Socially, I bailed on plans with friends, spent time with family and friends sparingly and retreated into myself.

While feeling stuck and low is not a new experience for me, it does not make the experience any easier. I desperately wanted to feel better and to flow emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually again.

Getting re-aquatinted with movement

Mental

After allowing myself to sit in my feelings, I slowly found small ways to create movement during my day. I reintroduced meditation during my commute. Each time I tried doing a guided meditation, I would lose my focus and couldn’t still my mind. I took another approach and listened to music and chants instead. For those 8 to 40 minutes, my mind let go and would flow with the music. Each session was short lived, but it was enough for me to get a taste of joy through mental movement.

Emotional

A conversation with my sister was the catalyst for emotional movement. I explained how I felt overwhelmed and tired and she reminded me to practice gratitude in those moments. By taking time to focus on and give attention to the fact that have a family that loves me, an adorable dog that lights up my life, a job that I enjoy that challenges me, and friends and a therapist who help me grow, my volatile emotions and thoughts began to calm. I took practicing gratitude a step further and was intentionally mindful about my basic needs being met, feeling the earth beneath my feet, and listening to the sounds around me. Gratitude and mindfulness grounded me and created a path for me to attune to my emotions.  

Physical

With poor sleep hygiene in full effect, I felt lethargic and was running on fumes. Reintroducing physical movement started by taking the stairs rather than the escalator during my commute to get my blood flowing. At work, I increased my number of walks to the water cooler during the day and through the park during my lunch break. The increased blood flow didn’t always result in happiness, but it felt good. Next, I started to plan my meals again and only eat foods that I actually wanted when I felt hungry. Lastly, I found new ways and times to move physically. I tried yoga and night and starting my commute with a walk instead of driving.

Social

Having a better sense of how and what I felt made it easier to engage with family and friends. When opportunities presented themselves, I said yes and actually showed up. I eventually started to initiate plans to see and do activities with friends and showed up as my authentic self. I didn’t sugar coat or hide the difficult feelings that I felt and shared how I was working through them, when appropriate. I spent time with my goddaughter and other small kids who just have a way of making everything better.

Movement continues

As I come to the close of this post, I want to be transparent. They way I wrote about movement and the stagnation is very organized and forward moving. It is not an entirely accurate representation of my lived experience but I did my best. Moving through mental space is hard work, moving emotional and physical can be exhausting, and social movement can be draining. It is not always straightforward or following an upward trend. In all truth, it is messy.

Something that I say to friends all the time and occasionally forget is that “growth is not linear or directional. As long as you are not in the same space emotionally, socially, physically or mentally as yesterday, that is a win.” Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to move in any direction, not just forward.

Call to action

If you’ve been experiencing stagnation in your life and want to start moving again, take a look at this week’s challenge “movement and stagnation“

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Take your ideas for a walk

List 2 or 3 ideas, thoughts, or aspirations that are important to you. They can be related to anything.
  1. Plan: Under each thought, write out some steps that you would have to take to turn your idea into reality. You can work from the present moment or think about it in reverse as if it is the moment before your idea becomes tangible. The number of steps will vary, but do your best to go into detail. It will make the next step easier. There is no time frame on how long you spend in the planning stage, but be careful to not get caught up in the minute details. Finding a happy medium between too much and too little detail takes practice.
  2. Execute: Pick one of the ideas or thoughts and start to implement the steps from the planning stage. As you progress through each step, take note of your feelings. Are you excited, overwhelmed, confused, bored, insecure, optimistic or something else? Allow these feelings to guide you. If confused, take a second to gain some clarity perhaps through research or conversation with others. If overwhelmed, take a second to pause. There are no deadlines unless you self-impose and if there are deadlines, a moment to pause will do more good than harm. If insecure, try the self-inquisition challenge to get to the root of your insecurity. If excited, take a moment to pause and then keep on moving. Keep moving through the steps until your thought or idea has been manifested.
  3. Do it again: Take note of what you learned during the planning and executing phases and do it all again, with the same idea or with a new one. It is completely up to you!

take a look at Show Up for Yourself: PED for some inspiration.

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Show Up for Yourself: PED

All of us have brilliant ideas; however, many of these ideas will stay in our idea incubator unless we put them into action. One thing that I’ve always struggled with is showing up for myself and showing up for my ideas. The old pattern looked a bit like this: 1) I have new ideas. 2) I write them down, sometimes even share them with friends. 3) I don’t do anything about or with the aforementioned idea. Aspirations, ideas, and thoughts would sit on a shelf in my mind, untouched. In some cases, they were forgotten until something stirred it up. A perfect example is this blog platform. A few years ago, I told some friends, “I think I want to start a vlog to keep track of and share my thoughts, ideas and focus on growth.” This statement stayed an idea, was forgotten and was stirred up in a new form. Less than a month ago when I told my friend, “I think I’m going to start a blog to catalog this journey of personal growth”, she reminded me of the vlog idea that I thought was long forgotten.

How I showed up for myself

The main difference between the vlog idea and this blog was that I showed up for my idea. I took it seriously and began to plan. I wrote things down, I told my accountability partners, I did some research and I got to work. Every time I thought about giving up on my idea, I reminded myself that no one else can take my ideas for a walk and put them into words except me. If I didn’t create and take up this space, someone else would create their own space, but it would never be the same as mine. With that spark and some other reminders, I owned that I had to be the person to plan, execute and do it again and here you are reading my next post.

Let’s get real

I realize that the way I described the development of this platform may sound simple and that is the farthest thing from the truth. When planning, it is easy to get wrapped up in logistics of the ideas that you have. You can plan mentally, get flustered by the mental plan and then become overwhelmed or turned off by my own idea. To be honest, I definitely got wrapped up in logistics like the website layout and almost didn’t launch my blog. I wanted to present the most complete version of my idea and something didn’t feel right. That was really my underlying perfectionism, that I often try to deny, rearing its head. Thankfully, at this point in my journey, I was able to push past this perfectionism, take the next step and get the ball rolling again.

Explaining PED

I have adopted a new pattern that I call PED: 1) plan, 2) execute, 3) do it again. The Latin and Greek root, ped, means foot. This works well with this PED pattern because it’s a reminder to take the first step and then another one. Once you put in the work to make your thought tangible, it’s time to execute. After execution, reflect on the work that you just did, take some notes, think about what you’d do differently next time and then plan your next step (do it again). I believe that it is incredibly important to be flexible with this process. Starting with a plan does not lock you in and prevent the integration of improvements or changes.

Sometimes naturally and at other times with great effort, this plan or method can be applied in all areas of life. In school you have assignments, at work you have tasks, at home you have chores and in life you have aspirations that you can create a plan for, execute and do again. Let’s apply the same structure, PED, and take the first step in turning a concept into reality. Whether it is a new business idea, a class that you want to take or teach, a creative venture, a country that you want to visit, a program that you want to apply for, a book you want to write, a person that you want to connect with, a new goal that you’re working towards or anything else that you can fathom, show up for yourself and your idea by practicing a living PED. I know it feels great for me to do it.

Living PED

Along with this blog, some other ways that I live and practice PED include singing and dancing again, joining a book club, starting with a new therapist, learning a new language, working on program application for next professional steps, connecting with people and growing my network, and picking up new projects at work that challenge and excite me. All of these now executed plans are important to me for different reasons and serve different purposes while fostering physical, intellectual, emotional, mental and professional growth. Hopefully, you will take some time to practice PED and show up for yourself and your ideas. Take a look at this week’s challenge “take your ideas for a walk” for some instruction.  

A word of caution

To readers, like me, who like to put a lot on their plate: while living and practicing PED is better than leaving your ideas idle, every thought does not need to be acted on at the same time. That can easily lead to burn out, frustration, and mental, emotional, financial or physical strain. Take a few moments to do some pre-planning and practice discernment and prioritization. PED can begin once this important step is done.

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The Beautiful Challenge Continues

A year and three days ago, I graduated from university. In the months approaching graduation, I worked with my counselor to ensure that, no matter what situation I found myself in, I would be emotionally resilient and grounded after graduation. The plan was to focus on maintaining and growing my identity, practicing honest and open communication with myself and others, taking up space, holding myself and allowing others to hold me accountable, and taking care of my physical body. This was a great idea in theory, but there was truly no way for me to be prepared for the post-graduation low that hit me very hard. As my experience in university shaped, molded and dragged me, the months following graduation did as well.

Hello, real world

I went through a process of feeling very lost, unsuccessful, miserable, and disappointed in myself. I wallowed in these feelings for a few months and every aspect of my life was impacted. Interpersonal relationships hit rough points, friendships were strained, I felt physically ill and spiritually disconnected. I had people in my life who supported me, but I also felt very alone and like I was supporting everyone else; being a rock for others while feeling untethered. In many ways, I felt like I had regressed.

Emotionally and mentally, I felt like I had before I’d ever stepped in a counselor’s office. I knew this wasn’t true because I was more mindful about my thoughts and how they impacted me, but I felt like I couldn’t flip the energy, change the narrative and find the bright side like I usually could. I fell back into old habits like avoiding my feelings, not communicating openly and honestly, allowing myself to be consumed by everyone else’s life, not maintaining boundaries, and over thinking in a very black or white way without any space for gray. Physically, I went from maintaining this independent and faux self-sustained life to being back home with my parents. I stopped doing yoga and meditating and started eating emotionally again.

You are not alone

Everything seemed to be in a downward spiral until I started having open and honest conversations with other friends of mine who had recently graduated. Nearly all of us realized that we were going through it regardless of what job we had or didn’t have, if we were starting graduate programs or got rejected from all the programs we applied to, or even remotely had a plan. A major transition was happening and many of us, even the proactive, were unprepared for the onslaught of emotional, financial, mental, and physical turmoil. The thing that made it even more challenging was feeling like I was in it alone; like I was the only person who was having these thoughts and feelings when, in reality, I had plenty of company.

There was this excitement and denial, for some, about entering the real world. It was our time to call all of the shots, live our best lives, travel the world untethered, grow professionally and so much more. We were leaving behind our microcosm of the world and being thrust into the real deal with a new level of independence to explore. Depending on your education, 5 years prior, in high school, you were raising your hand to ask for the bathroom, had limited choices in your coursework and had a structured schedule. In college, there was more independence with a nice helping of structure and then BAM! hello, real world with no predetermined structure. That’s a lot to take in and adjust to.

Reshaping my narrative

As my conversations with friends and loved ones became more frequent, my mindset began to shift. I took time to tackle each of my negative thoughts and dissect them with my favorite question: why? Here’s an example of using why and question words constructively: Why do I feel unsuccessful? What does success mean? Whose definition of success am I trying to live up to? What is my definition? When will I start living my own definition? Will I be happier living my own definition? Following this type of self-inquisition of thoughts related to happiness, success, communication, etc., I took actionable steps to reshape my narrative.

This process will look different for everyone but for me, it took the form of my sticky notes self-care corner. This corner of my room became my structure, schedule and constant reminder of the things that amounted to success and resulted in my happiness at that time. The system was color-coded and categorized activities that fed my body, mind, and soul. I would shift around the notes each day and try to do at least 4 of the activities to ensure that I was doing something to feed my body, mind, and soul every day. Eventually, I did not need to rely on the sticky notes to do an activity in each of those categories. It began to happen naturally and felt like less of a personal challenge. Following this practice, everything in my life did not just fall into place. In reality, many other things fell apart but such is life. It’s all a matter of how you allow the external to impact your inner space, what I like to call my inner aura.

my self-care corner.

My view on life as a beautiful challenge has not changed; however, it has a new element. Life will continue to challenge me while I foster growth and change with my own challenges. In short, the beautiful challenge continues.  

call to action – personal challege

For anyone who is going through a time of confusion, disappointment or any difficult emotion, take some time to take note of the thoughts that are feeding that feeling. Try this week’s challenge: self-inquisition.

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It’s been a beautiful challenge

senior reflection speech that I gave on May 17th 2018 at Georgetown’s Multicultural Graduation Ceremony, Harambee.

Class of 2018, family, friends, guests, it is truly an honor to share with you all tonight. I am Mia, a Biology of Global Health major and Women’s and Gender Studies minor from New York. I think it is only right that I start by saying congratulations! You have worked incredibly hard to reach this point and should be very proud of yourselves. Whether you realize it or not at this moment, each of you has accomplished a great feat! So please take a moment to applaud yourselves (make them clap for themselves)

When asked about my Georgetown experience, I sum it up to a beautiful challenge that I am grateful to have experienced and survived. The terminology beautiful challenge came to me my junior year as I was entering one of the most emotionally challenging times in my life. The words beautiful and challenge are simple while they hold so much meaning. As a person who likes to receive good news last, I will start with the meaning that “challenge” holds in my story. Not that a challenge is a bad thing because you know you can’t grow inside your comfort zone.

But, as we all know and have experienced, Georgetown is a tough place to be. While I have not heard the words “you don’t belong here” I have felt it. Each day presented me with new challenges to face and overcome. Freshman year challenges included surviving NSO (new student orientation) week, getting lost on campus, finding my classes, making friends, homesickness, procrastination, and struggling with feelings of alienation and isolation when I looked around my class and saw no faces that looked like mine. Sophomore year included defining my course of study, struggling with aspects of my identity, having my numerous commitments catch up to me while still finding my voice and space on campus, situationships, shifting friend groups, the sophomore slump, financial struggles, losing grandparents, and so much more. Then there was junior year; moving on up to the big leagues. At this point, I dealt with the pressure to lead, think about the future seriously, secure internships and potential jobs, made and lost friends, felt stuck emotionally, and reached a breaking point. Next up: senior year which came with a boatload of mixed emotions and challenges. Balancing relationships, dropping pre-med, confronting my own issues after avoiding them for so long, rejections from post-grad plans, just to name a few. Now, I know all that was heavy, but remember I said I like to save good news until the end.

Just as Georgetown challenged me, I challenged it and this process taught me how important it can be to reshape and reframe your own narrative and find the beauty in every challenge. I am proud to say that in my time at Georgetown, I have made my mark. During my freshman year, I was part of a group of students known as the Last Campaign for Academic reform that mobilized, organized, and pushed the administration to make a change and include a diversity requirement in the core requirements of every student at Georgetown. As an institution that values community in diversity and educating the whole person, it only makes sense that students who come through Georgetown take time inside the classroom to explore and engage with difference. I am happy to say that the requirement is now entering its second year. Of course, this is not the only thing that I was involved with during my freshman year, but being a part of that amazing group of students helped me step out of my comfort zone and use my voice and skills to create change. I was able to continue to grow these skills during the summer following my freshman when I was an intern with a DC-based non-profit, ONE DC.

In my sophomore year, I continued to engage in the community in different ways. I continued my internship, sang in the Gospel choir, danced with Black Movements Dance Theater, became a woman of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated and grew as a leader with the Minority Association of Pre-Health Students. Being in these different spaces engaging with other minority students on campus and reflecting on my course work, I truly began to take time to explore my own identities, especially as a black woman on Georgetown’s campus. I began to engage in more conversation about intersectionality and my life as a determined, spiritual, cisgender, Caribbean-American woman, whose family was part of the upper middle class. I had conversations with my friends, my spiritual guides on campus and my professors. I also began to think more about the identity that I had created for myself here at Georgetown. I found myself overwhelmed in silence but continued to press on and engage in my numerous extracurriculars on top of my pre-med courses.

The summer going into my junior year, while struggling with organic chemistry, I decided to start going to counseling on campus after being encouraged by a dear friend. In this space, I thought about the ways that I, like so many students, were parts of numerous clubs, double majoring, sacrificing sleep and just engaging in a generally unhealthy culture of stress and busyness. To combat this, as a resident of the Black House, I put on numerous events that focused on self-care from coloring with chaplains to movie nights, and my “Let’s Talk Hair” events. I was so determined to take care of the community that I forgot about myself even after constant reminders from Dav and Shola until I found a new counselor who changed my life. The summer before senior year, I got away from Georgetown and went back home. It was the longest time that I had been at home since arriving here (at Georgetown) freshman year. Being away, I had the space to grow and have conversations with myself and I came back to Georgetown in senior year with a new attitude and energy.

As a senior, I am happy to say that I have been transformed during my time at Georgetown. I have found my passions and purpose. I have grown into my own with the help of my professors, staff, and the people that I call my chosen family, my friends. I am definitely not the same person that walked onto Georgetown’s campus four years ago and for that I am grateful. This ride called the beautiful challenge dragged, shaped and molded me into the woman who stands in front of you today. But it is not over. Going forward we will continue to be challenged in a multitude of ways and also experience moments of pure bliss and beauty. I hope that each and every one of you will not forget what happened here, take the good, the bad, and the ugly from Georgetown and help it guide and propel you. May you remember to take deep breaths, reshape and reframe your own experiences, and revel in your greatness.

Thank you all for listening and taking a ride on the Beautiful Challenge with me. Hoya Blaxa!

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Welcome to My Inner Aura

Welcome and thank you for taking a few moments to peek into my inner aura. I intend for this blog to be a space to catalog and encourage personal growth for myself and my readers; a space for exploration of the mind-body connection. Check out the site for blog posts, personal growth challenges, and original art work!

Views and opinions expressed on this site are my own and do not represent any entity beyond myself.