Sitting with and fully allowing myself to feel emotions like anger, frustration and sadness is something I am learning to appreciate. I find it relatively easy to revel in my moments of joy but when a challenging emotions arises , I analyze it and rarely feel it. I may be missing an opportunity to learn from these difficult emotions, which are simply part of the roller coaster of life.
August’s ups and downs
August, in particular, was a beautiful challenge. I launched a new segment of my business, the MyInnerAura Art Shop, another one of my god children was born, a woman who raised me and was one of my greatest teachers in life passed away suddenly, and it is the anniversary of the loss of a friend who taught me to live my life on purpose.
We ebb and flow
I jokingly told my sisters that I didn’t like the beginning of August and they quickly reminded me that the good comes along with the tough moments. They are interconnected. This idea of the difficult and beautiful moments happening in tandem has been a core point while working with my therapist and to unpack some heavy repressed memories from my past.
Saying hello to my shadow
My desire to tap in to my past is in part because I want to learn about the way that my past impacts my present. Secondly, I know that there are beautiful joyful moments that have been repressed along with the painful ones. Taking a step into my shadow is hard work and I feel that I am on a rollercoaster of emotions.
Learning from nature
In one moment I am proud of myself for taking the deep dive, inspecting the areas of my life that are not all “puppies and unicorns”. A moment later, I am holding back tears of frustration and sadness. Like a tree branch, the process of emotions is not a straight line. There are bends and twist all the way from the trunk to the edge of the branch.
Note to self: you can do it
To support myself as I move through this work, I talk with my close friends and I have started to go on daily runs. That may seem sadistic to some but my runs are a reminder that I can push through the challenging moments and feel incredible (or not so great) on the other end; simply a reminder that I can and will get to the other side. The ebb and flow of emotions during my runs, echo my feelings when journaling and during a therapy session.
Sources of support
- What support systems do you have in place or would you like to have in place?
- Who/What is a part of that support system?
- Are they contributing to your greatest good? I hope so. If they aren’t, you are in charge and can make a change whenever you want. Cheers to doing the hard work!
